Pickle Jars Only Bring Tears
by Addicted-to-the-Madness
Summary: Yuuchi Uchiha doesn't seem to understand why his Tou-san and Chi-Chi had to leave the kitchen and go to the bedroom to open up the pickle jar. "Honestly...you two could've stayed in the kitchen to make all of that noise" -One shot


Yo! im just posting a one shot that came to mind a few weeks ago, but i was too lazy to write it. It in someway or not relates to one of my other stories My Lover's Lover is a Man. I know that i haven't updated that in a good while but somehow i like my older version of that better (even though i didn't update it past chapter one, i was a bit of a tech dunce then...still am) Anyway! on with the one shot!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in the anime.

Pickle Jars Only Bring Tears

Now Uchiha Sasuke was a man of very few words when it came to the inmense stupidity of another inferior being. If someone had been carrying coffee on a tray and had suddenly fallen, people may have laughed but he would only mutter 'ridiculous'. If a clown had gotten an enormous pie smashed into his make up filled face, people would laugh until tears began to run like water but he would only stare with blankly while so many words which translated to 'idiot' ran through his head.

Yes. To many Uchiha Sasuke was as fun and social as a brick wall. His employees had never seen or heard him laugh, but when they did many were tempted to imediently sign for a transfer.

So as Sasuke sat at his kitchen table, one hand supporting his head and the other frivolously spining a pen, he could only wonder why and how in everything he had been taught, his morals about not finding idiotic things humorous or not indulging in pointless laughter.

He couldn't for the world figure out why he found the sight before him so...erotic. Sasuke quailed at the word. Sure he had used it many times before, but never in a stituation like this. Obsidian eyes twinkled with unspoken elation as he watched the lean blond man on the other side of the table try and fruitlessly failed to open his new craving.

Pickles.

Sasuke had never liked the fruit...vegetable...whatever it was. He liked things that weren't too sweet or too bitter. He abhored sweets, but loved the sweet filling in the onigiri that Naruto made

Ah...Naruto. The man was sweet to core not was he bitter. He was just right. But how can a man with blue eyes, blond hair, loud and always blush at the simplist implications of sex not be sweet to the core? Believe it or not but the man had a dangerous mean streak and a crippling right hook.

Sasuke shook his head as he focused on the one man comedy show infront of him. For the last twenty-two minutes, if his intramural clock was right- which it was, he watched his husband try and like he had previously mentioned fruitlessly failed to open the pickle jar.

Now if it were anyone else, anyone without a black heart and the devil for an idol, they would've offered to help the suffering blond- but Sasuke wasn't just _anyone, _he was an Uchiha and Uchihas don't offer help (unless in crucial situations) even to their suffering spouses who was two months along carrying his second child.

Was he a demented cold hearted bastard like his husband called him?

Yes.

Did he care in the least?

No.

Was he going to help his pregnant blond anytime soon?

Hell no.

Why?

Because he was getting turned on. Simple as that.

Unknown to him his seven year old son was standing by the doorway watching it all.

Naruto stared down the evil glass jar that contained the thing his baby currently wanted to chow down on. With a new determination he grabbed the jar again and twisted the cap. That wouldn't budge.

"Ahh...nghhh...mhmm"

Naruto grunted out as he tightened his hold on the metal cap. Why wouldn't the damn thing budge! But he wasn't going to give up. His child was going to get pickles as long as their was ramen!

"AH!...ohhh...nnnn! ah-!...ah-!"

Naruto didn't even seem to notice when his significant other entered the room and sat down.

"C-come...ah!...o-on...nnnnn!"

The blond man didn't know how long he had been there trying to unscrew the damable thing but he was not giving up!

"I s-said! to commhm-! on already! nghnnn!"

Naruto placed the jar on the kitchen table as he panted heavily at the amount of effort it took to _try_ to open the evil thing. So. This was it. The last try, if this didn't work then he would have to use The C.U.B. He wiped a bit of sweat from his forehead with a groan before snatching the jar up again.

"Ahhhhh!...nghnnn!...ah!...ah!...mhm-ah!...c-come...nnnn!...AHH-!"

Blue eyes locked onto dark ones as they silently pleaded for help but all he got in responce was a smirk. Naruto's lip trembled as he prepared himself to exsicute the C.U.B. This was only used in bed but when the going gets hungry, the hungry must have.

"S-Sasuke?"

Naruto stuttered and was rewarded with a raised eyebrow, Naruto looked down and rubbed the caps smooth surface.

"C-Can you...can you help me with t-this?"

Stupid hormones...

Sasuke's smirk darkened "Yes Naruto?"

A blush rose up upon Naruto's cheeks as he turned his watery blue eyes towards Sasuke's endless dark one's. Now, time to begin the C.U.B The Crying Uke Bomb.

"Sasuke! p-please help me..."

Naruto sniffed as he watched the left eyes of Sasuke twitch. "Sasuke..."

"Don't you...don't you love me anymore?...have you found someone else? someone with a better ass than mines?"

Naruto asked as his eyes went wide. Sasuke would only watch as mother nature did her work. How in gods name did a person go from macho to a piece of wet tissue paper he didn't know.

"Tou-san"

Sasuke turned his head to find his mini-me first born son Yuuchi standing by the doorway frowning up at his father. "Im going to tell Tsunade-baa-chan"

But what Sasuke did know was that he had to stop his spouse from crying. Somehow weather tempted by sweets or whatever the kid liked, Tsunade has bribed him into telling her when, if and how in any scenario that his Tou-san should make his 'Chi-Chi' cry then he would tell her the next time they met.

But appearently Sasuke was spaced out too long because when he zoned back in Naruto was sobbing mess on the table and his son had a very familiar look in his eye. Evil almost. Oh yea. He looked like him.

"N-Naruto...there isn't anyone else i love-"

"Liar! y-you had to t-think about it! if you d-didn't have an-another lover t-then you wouldn't answer imediently!"

"Naruto be rational about this, if i was cheating on you, i wouldn't even let myself be caught-"

Sasuke paused mid-sentence when he realized what _exactly_ he was saying. And by the look on Naruto's face he too realized.

"Naruto...now just wait a minute..."

Naruto's lips trembled and new tear drop formed by his eyes. "Y-you..." A tanned had reached out and grabbed the pickle jar before running past his glaring son who had the 'Your-so-dead' look. Sasuke sighed before running a hand down his face then proceeded to stand up from the table. Determined to fix this little mistake before he ended up cripple and ball-less he walked past his son but not before sending him a glare of his own and up the stairs where the crying blond went.

Yuuchi stared at the empty kitchen before going over to the fridge and taking out a container which held his father onigiri. Yuuchi nodded to himself before he took a seat at the table and began to chow down on his father's center filled rice-balls. That would teach his father to make his Chi-Chi cry.

After consuming about five of the twelve riceballs, he casually threw the others in the waste-bin before cleaning the bowl. Yuuchi deeming it time to see if his father had fixed his mistake walked up the stairs soundlessly and down the hall until he came to his parents room.

After having to run back down stairs for a glass, he pressed it against the door and listened only for his eyes to widen. Were adults suppose to be this vexatiously...senceless?

All the seven year old raven could do was shake his head and continue the few steps down the hall to his room. He would definately ask them about what he heard in the morning.

Naruto had just sat down when his angel entered the kitchen and took a seat by the table before giving him a cheerful good-morning. Naruto nearly laughed out loud when he saw his two favourite boys glare at each other in a greeting.

Sasuke glared right back at the little brat who lifting his fork from the table and began to eat. Even though he tended to be a bastard he was still well-mannered, as he he waited for his counter part to sit down also. He was half-way through his breakfast while Naruto was already washing up both his own and Yuuchi's plates and cups. Just as he was about to swallow another fork of food.

"Honestly Tou-san...you made Chi-Chi try to open the pickle jar in the kitchen and in the bedroom too?"

It all happened like clock work, Yuuchi mused, as he watched his father nearly choke and his mother drop a plate.

"No need to be so flustered...all im saying is that if you wanted Chi-Chi to make all of that noise, then he could've stayed in the kitchen and done it"

Deeming his job done, Yuuchi shrugged and stood up and then left the kitchen seemly not caring of the looks his parents were giving him.

_How was it? if you like it or even hate it then just leave me a review. I hear criticism is good for the heart._

_*(=0.0=)*_


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